DAY 202 (24 OCTOBER) – Daisy (Catta optima in mundo) (Farnham)
Today was a very dark day. I had to have my beloved 19-year-old cat put to sleep. It has taken me a few days to be able to post this entry. The photo is from last December, four months before I started this diary.
This poem Mercies by Don Paterson explains the feeling very well. I have changed just two words marked*. His were ‘dog’ and ‘wolf’. I hope he will forgive me.
She might have had months left of her cat*-years,
but to be who? She’d grown light as a nest
and spent the whole day under her long ears
listening to the bad radio in her breast.
On the steel bench, knowing what was taking shape
she tried and tried to stand, as if to sign
that she was still of use, and should escape
our selection. So I turned her face to mine,
and seeing only love there – which, for all
the tiger* in her, she knew as well as we did –
she lay back down and let the needle enter.
And love was surely what her eyes conceded
as her stare grew hard, and one bright aerial
quit making its report back to the centre.